Judgement(s)

Yes I know you've heard it time and time again about not passing judgement, judge not least yea be judged, etc.  Blah Blah Blah.
I have a slightly different perspective of this.  When we judge others (which lets face it, it happens!)  our emotional mind responds to that thought.  Typically the emotional response is in some form of anger.  Another possible response is sadness that something happened the way it did.  Both of these emotions are problematic over time and can cause physical issues.  Yes this is proven to be true- problematic emotions can cause physical issues.  Just check here about anger and here to learn about sadness.

Bottom line when we are judging others we are likely harming ourselves.  Many times when someone comes into my office and there's anger then there's likely also judgement about others in their life.  That anger is doing nothing to change the other person's behavior, at all.  I know for a fact it's definitely not helping my client in anyway what so ever.  I'm always looking for my clients to be as healthy physically and emotionally as they can.
How about this?  A different perspective, a new understanding, and more gratitude and joy?  What and how you say?  By getting the those internal judgement programs rewritten and those problematic emotions cleaned up!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@taralpc.com Pin It

Haunting Childhood issues

I've recently been asked a few times by a few different people about given my training and specialty in trauma treatment if I can effectively work with adults who survived childhood abuse.  I'll be honest here I initially found that question odd.  Why do I find it odd?  Because childhood abuse IS trauma. Simple answer is Yes I do.  
If you or someone you know has been through something that continues to haunt them days, months, or even years later- Yes I work with that.
What do I mean by being haunted by your past?  Memories coming up and creating painful emotions, continued reactions to things that you would like to handle differently, habits that have started since that event (nail biting, picking at your skin, etc) some traumatic events create phobias.  Like for example car accidents may create a phobia with driving.  A bad experience flying can create a phobia of flying.  (Please note not all phobias are a direct result of something traumatic)
Does this help better explain feeling haunted by your past?
Imagine being free of those haunting, problematic emotions, thoughts and behaviors?  How freeing would that be?  It is possible...

(Photo found from: uncountablereflections.wordpress.com)

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@taralpc.com
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Feeling moving

Have you or someone you know been talking about how sick they are of feeling a certain way or reacting a certain way?  And that they know it would be better to feel and react different ways but they can't seem to make it happen?  Guess what?  You or them...are not a tree and it can be changed.  How you ask?  Through Rapid Resolution Therapy®.
How does RRT do that you ask?  Well it's more like how do I do that.  I do it by communicating in a way that that part of your mind gets it.  Cause those behaviors and/or feelings are coming from your subconscious mind.  In doing so emotions and behaviors change naturally and with out effort on your part.  Seriously...no joke.  And to boot my sessions are fun and light.  In the past 2 years I've only had to get a new box of kleenex once and I think more because I have allergies than because clients cry in sessions with me.
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Assert yourself

Many times, more so women than men, a client comes into my office with a lack of an ability to assert themselves.  Many talk about low self esteem, anxiety, and feelings of being unappreciated.  When those feelings are cleared up and the mind is tuned up to see and aim for what is beneficial and possible people start to naturally assert themselves.
Again I came across an article somewhat about this and I thought I'd share it with you.
How to get everything you want. Seriously. By Dave Kerpen
Assertiveness is just a phone call away!

See that cute little picture?  That could be you!!!


Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
 tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Perfectionism

I can't count the amount of times a client has sat in front of me talking about how they have "control" issues and described themselves as perfectionists.  It happens so often just typing this makes me take a big sigh.
First off please show me 10 people who don't in some way have "control" issues.  Yes I know some people are so controlling it's turned into abuse.  We all have certain things we like certain ways...whether it's household organization, food, our cars, our desk at work.
When it comes to perfectionism though that sticks out to me as a clinical therapist.  I have yet to meet some self proclaimed perfectionist who didn't have some difficulty with anxiety, frustration, and self criticisim.  These reactions to our environment create problems that can be challenging.  In fact most who talk about their perfectionism also talk about how they have "failed."

 

Let's face it, we all make mistakes.  It's a fact that we all learn more from our mistakes than our successes.  If we never make mistakes how effective will we be at dealing with change and challenges that we encounter?  And isn't it the mistakes people make and overcome that help develop what ever that is that makes them interesting?  How much time do you want to spend with someone who's perfect and their life is perfect?  Me?  Not but maybe 2 minutes to realize their life is too perfect for my tolerance level.  I'm human, I make mistakes....everyday.  I've made big whooper mistakes, expensive mistakes, and mediocre mistakes, and small mistakes.  Whatever.  I wouldn't be where I am and who I am without them.  

If you're finding yourself in that cycle of perfectionism and self criticisim then give me a call.  Let's update your mind so that when you do make a mistake you can move forward with new knowledge and confidence!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Stories

If you've read enough of these posts you may have realized my favorite specialty with RRT is working with survivors of sexual violence- women, adolescents, and men.  Several years ago I had a Mother seek me out based on a referral from a previous client.  She called and noted that her daughter had been sexually assaulted and was this something I could take care of.  And my answer was of course. 
So fast forward daughter comes in has a successful session and as we are wrapping things up Mom of course wants to know when daughter needs to come back (they always ask that because that's been the norm for so long with counseling and trauma...long term treatment.  NOT anymore! 1-3 sessions people, 1-3 sessions!!)  Which Mom had trouble believing me but daughter reinforced the idea and left with "OK now you need to come see Tara, Mom."  Which Mom was all like I'm sure I could use your help but...
Fast forward again a few weeks later and there's Mom sitting in my office crying, crying, crying over how she had been molested as a child repeatedly but stating she had worked through those issues and has it handled what she needed help with now was anxiety about her job.  Ummmmm....if you are still crying when you mention how something traumatic happened to you way back when you are not over it.  Nope not at all.  I'm just hear to educate you on this fact.  If you think about something that happened to you, talk about it and there's a painful emotional charge your emotional mind can greatly benefit from the work I do.  And especially if your done and over with having that emotional charge.  (Seriously some people think they need or deserve that painful emotional charge...I know never thought you'd hear that huh?)
So what did I do?  I educated her about that painful emotional charge and how it was getting in her way.  And then we cleared it up, got that memory to a place where there was NO emotional charge.  She was and still is able to tell that story with nothing, NOTHING.  And then we tuned things up in regards to work.  Guess what?  She refers people to me...because she has that much faith in the work I do. 
I've been asked why I do 3 hour sessions?  Because it gives us a lot of time to get stuff done.  This amazing lady saw me once and once only.  I'm also asked why I charge a session fee versus per hour?  Does your dentist charge per hour or per procedure?  How about your plumber?  Hourly or per broken pipe issue?  It's standard procedure for clinical professionals to charge per procedure vs per hour.  I'm a clinical professional with 17+ years on this field and 5+ of those years exclusively utilizing RRT.  You pay for what you get!  If your looking to invest in yourself invest wisely!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Now offering

 A 45 minute face to face consultation.  These consultations are a way to get to meet and know Tara (myself) as well as determine if RRT is the most effective therapeutic way to resolve emotion issues that are troubling you.  As well as insure that RRT will be a worth while investment towards your emotional well being. 
An RRT session is a large investment and you must invest your money and time wisely.  Thus I have created these 45 minute face to face consultations.  These consultations are not for walk ins, they are scheduled a head of time and there is a small fee. 
I'm looking for any self investment you make to be a worthwhile one and am looking to find the best way to get you to where you want to be! 
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Self investment

Have you looked at your investment portfolio lately?  How's it doing?  Do you just leave it to your financial adviser or do you go through it with a fine tooth comb on a regular basis?  Are you a conservative, moderate, or risky investor?  When's the last time you invested in yourself?

Rapid Resolution Therapy® truly is an investment in yourself.  Especially if you're a parent, and even more so if your a Mom.  I'm a Mom, wife, business owner, etc.  RRT has been the best investment in myself I have ever done. 
Recently I had a potential client, a Mom, calling desperate to find therapy for all her children.  One in particular who frankly was an adult and not the least bit invested in changing therapists.  I ended up refusing to see her adult child based on how little that persona wanted to seek treatment.  This mother and I had several phone conversations.  After refusing to see her adult child it dawned on her, maybe it was time to take care of herself versus her children.  (none of her children were in immediate danger just some "stuff" going on!!)  And so eventually Mom came in.  And then several months later she came back.  After her initial session her adult child saw a difference in her and sought out her own RRT therapist.  (Sometimes kids have no desire to see the therapist their parent saw...oh well, no biggie)  Mom noted how her kids now talked to her, she felt lighter, was joking more, an setting boundaries with family.  She was out seeking employment and ways to LIVE life.  She came back for a few "tune ups" as she referred to them and as I have referred to them as well.  She was smiling and laughing the majority of the second session.  In fact if I am to be really honest the second session barely felt like a session at all.  How great is that?
So I ask you again when's the last time you invested in you? 

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com

Mommas and Pappas

First off let me clarify I LOVE that families come in all shapes, sizes, kinds, varieties with different sets of parents, kids, and extended families.  So this is for ALL parents of all types!!
A friend recently posted a link on Facebook to a Huffington Post article titled "Quit pointing your avocado at me."  Which quickly got my attention mostly because I love avocados.  (Yes I'm a very food orientated human.)  So of course I clicked on the link and read away while my child was taking her swim lesson for the week...swim away little fishy this Momma is gonna relax and read!
What I read was all about self criticisim and concern that others were judging one's parenting.  Which all leads to feeling guilty and "bad" about parenting.  Well let's put an immediate STOP to that.  Seriously! 
The more we judge our selves the more painful emotions our mind creates and the more likely we are to make more mistakes.  More more more.  I know right!? 
How about parenting with joy, laughter, comfort and ease?  It is possible.  I am here to attest to this fact.  I stumbled upon Rapid Resolution Therapy® when my daughter was very small.  As well as an amazing parenting book "Screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel."  RRT rid me of painful emotions that had been haunting me for decades and Screamfree showed me how my own "stuff" can cause me to parent in a way that I wasn't really looking to parent.  (Actually I read ScreamFree first then found RRT...but what ever)
I don't always make the perfect parenting decisions all the time.  However when I make a mistake I clear up my mistake quickly.  And do so with out all that lingering emotional junk that sometimes haunts people for years.  Moms, usually Moms more than Dads, think it's not possible to parent with out "Mom guilt."  It is.  And it's extremely freeing.  In doing so it gives a lot of space for connection with your children and others.  My child is not a saint.  She can have a fit with the best of them.  She observes me taking care of myself when my mind does get overly emotionally and she in turn is learning to take time to calm her emotional mind.  Thus we can just be together usually in an easy state of mind. 
She's only 5 at the time of my writing this.  I know that as she grows we will find more challenges to face together.  And we will have to adapt and change through out those challenges, doing so with a mind that is less emotional and more rational is likely to aid us in continuing to stay connected and loving. 
So give us a call!  Begin with a quick investment in yourself and your family!!
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Types of traumas and PTSD

I openly market myself as a psychotherapist who specializes in treating and clearing trauma.  Interestingly enough people (or maybe only interesting to me who knows?!)  speak of how they haven't survived any type of trauma.  Or at least the situations they experienced weren't so crazy and intense that they feel they should seek out an expert in trauma.  Like for some reason what they faced is less challenging than someone who's faced some other type of trauma.  The United States Department of Veterans Affairs lists types of trauma as War, Terrorism, Violence & Abuse, and Disasters. 
Now I define trauma as anything unusual, different, unexpected, sudden, or weird.  Thus many things can be trauma- war, survivors of violence, having your home broken into, or even being bullied at school.  And that leaves out a lot of other "traumas" too.

(If possible please note at the bottom of the picture where this chart was taken from!!  This is not of my own making!!!)
Looking at trauma from that point probably most of us have had at least one traumatic event in our lives.  Maybe that event still lingers and possibly haunts us.  If it does now is the best time to take some time to devote to your health and well being....give me a call to start towards your healthier more joyful life!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Loved ones

I'm unsure why but as I read this I started thinking about the loved ones of those diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  PTSD shows up in many different ways and it's different for most of those who are dealing with it.  Not to deny the impact that PTSD has upon them but it also effects their loved ones. 
Loved ones can feel like they are walking on egg shells constantly.  They can feel hopeless and alone as they do everything they can think of and everything in their power to help their loved one who's dealing with all these different signs and symptoms.  Some even feel as if they have let their loved one down by not being able to "fix it." 
Not only can those who are suffering from PTSD benefit from Rapid Resolution Therapy® but so can their loved ones.  An RRT session offers them a chance to be heard and understood, time to learn more about PTSD and how the emotional mind effects their loved ones and them, and time to to heal their own painful emotions.  So if you or someone you know could benefit from RRT now is the perfect time to call!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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PTSD happens to many people

Since my last post on PTSD I've heard comments, and had phone calls about how someone can't have PTSD because they are not a Veteran.  PTSD can happen to anyone.  Yes it was originally recognized in soldiers returning from battle.  But some people live through different types of battles: childhood abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, and many other traumatic events that can occur in one's life time.  Even violent crimes such as being mugged at gun point.
I have a soft spot for our soldiers because they have sacrificed a lot to help our country.  I also have the time, and enthusiasm to help anyone who has survived any type of trauma. 

For common reactions to trauma please click here.  And of course, like you haven't read this before...those common reactions to trauma can be and are effectively, quickly, and painlessly cleared through Rapid Resolution Therapy®.  Most clients only see me 1-3x.  Some call for your appointment towards wellness now!


Be well, Be happy-

Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Time for change?

I used to run group therapy sessions for years.  As a group therapy facilitator I was no different than I am as an individual therapist, straight forward and to the point.  Many times people would come in and talk about the same problem over & over & over (this was before my certification training in Rapid Resolution Therapy®)  Of course myself and the other group therapy members would give feedback and suggestions about how to change, make improvements, or move on.  One day pretty much everyone in the group room got sick and tired of one particular client complaining about the same thing AGAIN.  And one of the client's said either change something or get happy with it.  And that then became the motto for my group, change something or get happy with it.  Ain't nobody got time for continued complaining about the same thing.
Fortunately through RRT I now have the knowledge, understanding, experience, and ability to help clients make those changes; whether it's sadness, guilt, grief, anger, or anxiety it can be changed.  The challenge is it has to be OK to be OK. 
Odd statement you say?   Well the truth be told sometimes people really don't want to be OK.  No seriously that happens all the time.  Especially when someone is angry or filled with grief, even sometimes guilt.  The assumption is if a client walks into my office they MUST want to be OK.  The reality is not always.  Sometimes people really think they should feel some painful emotion.  That's fine, but in my office if you don't want change then get happy with it.  I'm not that therapist who will sit with you week after week listening to someone complain about the same thing.  I'm not the hold your hand and console you while you cry therapist.  I'm a solution driven, problem solving, bulldozer of a therapist.  I'm looking to get to the heart of the issue, get my goal for where we are going and get you there...usually in 1 to 3 sessions which are all scheduled for 3 hours each.
So if your not happy it's time for a change, if your ready and excited about change give me a call!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Surfung the brain

Did you know there are 5 types of brain waves?  Well there are, from alert and thinking to what can be measured during deep meditation. 

(Image found at altering-perspectives.com)
Meditation has been noted over and over to help reduce anxiety, anger, sadness, etc.  Through processes utilized in Rapid Resolution Therapy® you can quickly learn how to utilize this process to naturally and effectively clear your emotional mind of problematic emotions.  Just give us a call and schedule your appointment for emotional wellness!
Be well, Be happy- 
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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DEADLINES

Someone recently sent me a link to a very useful diagram mapping out how to better meet your deadlines and reduce your stress over those deadlines.  Now it may have been more helpful if I had gotten around to reviewing it before summer break for school, but I didn't- lucky me my life was busy at the time.  (Or unlucky me which ever)
Anyways  it's called MEET THAT DEADLINE review it, hover over any icon and it has even more information, there's a ton of great sources noted at the bottom.  It's from MBAonline.  Hope you find it as interesting and helpful as I have!
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com Pin It

Unhappiness

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. ~Eckhart Tolle~

That's a different way to view things that have been running around in your mind.  It's not the situation(s) but your mind's response to it.  Our mind creates painful emotions in response to situations.  Those emotions also have thoughts about the situation, or yourself, or other people involved in that situation(s).  And the thing is typically that situation(s) isn't even going on right now.  It happened days, months, years, sometimes decades ago. 
Those painful emotions are your mind's way of trying to get you to do something about that situation(s) that's not even happening now.  Those thoughts are usually a meaning our mind added to what happened.  Meanings are always distorted and 100x worse than what happened.  Through Accelerated sessions with Rapid Resolution Therapy® those painful emotions can be eliminated and those thoughts can be changed.
Most clients only see me 1-3x.  RRT is an amazing investment in yourself!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Stress management

 Thought I'd share a video I did for a local newspaper last year...topic was stress management, sort of...

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Self-esteem, self help

A recent theme in my office with clients is the obsession over utilizing self-help books, improving self-esteem, and obsession over the "meaning" be hind everything...even something I may have said in a session. Let me clarify I say what I mean in sessions, there's no reason to go home and try to find the underlying meaning in anything I have said in a session!

I am a firm believer that self-help books are anything but helpful.  They encourage this idea that there is something fundamentally wrong with us and that we need to fix it ourselves.  That's like saying to any non-computer person "You're computer that you just bought brand new and removed from the box is a complete mess because of you and it's your responsibility to figure out what's wrong with it and fix it."  Guess what!  I have NOOOO clue how to fix my computer and if I just took it out of the box brand new...I didn't do anything to mess it up!  So someone with some training and expertise is going to fix it for me.  (That's what I do for those painful emotions you may be dealing with, I fix it...not you!)

Self-esteem is an abstract concept that does not exist.  Nope...you have been searching and reaching for something out there that's just not there.  Think of someone that you would have normally considered having "high" self-esteem.  When you compliment them on something they did well they;re likely to say "Oh I'm glad you enjoyed that.  Thank you...." or something to that effect.  They're not going to say "Yes I know how amazing I am."  Let's be frank here...that last statement is one filled with "self-love" but is considered narcissistic and arrogant.  No one is looking to be that way, and I'm certainly not looking to get my clients in that frame of mind.  Instead it's about getting their emotional mind to a point where it sees what's both possible AND beneficial and having them act upon that possibility.  And after having acted upon that beneficial possibility being able to look back and say "Yes in that moment I did the best I could have done," and doing so with out any regrets or doubt.

Meaning...Meaning is added to things that have been weird, different, unusual, unexpected, sudden, and unpleasant.  The meaning is always 100% worse than the thing that happened and distorted.  From that the human mind, for some people not all, then tries to add meaning to EVERYTHING!  The majority of our mind works like a wolf.  Wolves do not add meaning to their life, they get up and hunt if their hungry, sleep if their tired, procreate if the time is right, and go to the bathroom when they need to.  When they hunt successfully do they think "Wow I'm so amazing!"? No.  When they are unable to procreate do they think "Holy cow somethings wrong with me?" No.  Meanings are useless, in fact most of the time they are more harmful than helpful.

And I'm not the only therapist out there that feels this way about these topics.  Check out Mark Chidley's post entitled "Forgetting self esteem."

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Stressful future

The theme recently in my private practice is anxiety, worry, and stress.  Many times these emotions are a result of the mind's concern over a time frame that has yet to exist...what is usually referred to as the future.  Want to know something about that time frame?  You can't get there any faster than you and typically there's not much you can do right now to change that point in time you have yet to reach.  Sitting here with an emotional mind that's all jazzed up about it is taking time away from what's going on right this minute around you...family, friends, etc. 

There's a couple of simple things that you can do to better manage your mind's hyper-focus on that unknown future.  One- acknowledge there's nothing that can be done and state to yourself "Nothing needs to be done by me right now."  Out loud or quietly to yourself...I suggest quietly if you are around others; they may not understand what your doing and well...it could feel awkward. And two if there's a specific situation coming up; say a final exam, meeting with your supervisor, and such focus on what you will do AFTER that situation is over.  Who will you call to say hey it's done, I made it?  What will you do to celebrate or unwind?  If your into some hobby- yoga, scrap-booking, running, reading, what ever focus on doing that AFTER the situation.  How good will it feel to settle down and focus on something you enjoy?  Will you be relaxing and unwinding with someone, and if so what will you talk about? 
There's a many more things that can be done during an accelerated session with Rapid Resolution Therapy that will greatly benefit you while decreasing your anxiety, worry, and stress...this is just the tip of the iceberg!
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Breaking Free

“Sometimes, Ms. Lane,” he said, “one must break with one’s past to embrace one’s future.  It is never an easy thing to do.  It is one of the distinguishing characteristics between survivors and victims.  Letting go of what was, to survive what is.” From the book Bloodfever By Karen Marie Moning

This little bit of Bloodfever struck me, especially "one must break with one's past to embrace one's future." And the part "It is one of the distinguishing characteristics between survivors and victims."  Many times people come to see me and say they've seen therapist after therapist and they know they must let go but can't seem to be able to.
Well guess what?  That's exactly what I do.  I help your emotional mind move on, let go, update, and work in a way that is much more advantageous to you.  What happens after that?  You will start seeing life with satisfaction and gratitude.  The ghosts that had been haunting you will no longer be able to haunt you. 
I think that's what makes someone feel like a victim, when their past haunts them and poisons their present, thus having a possible effect on their future.  When they find a way to break from their past then the past is neutralized, energy is freed, and you can be present with your present and see the future in a new light.
If you've been haunted by something that you have survived there's no time like the present to launch yourself into pure freedom!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It