Judgement(s)

Yes I know you've heard it time and time again about not passing judgement, judge not least yea be judged, etc.  Blah Blah Blah.
I have a slightly different perspective of this.  When we judge others (which lets face it, it happens!)  our emotional mind responds to that thought.  Typically the emotional response is in some form of anger.  Another possible response is sadness that something happened the way it did.  Both of these emotions are problematic over time and can cause physical issues.  Yes this is proven to be true- problematic emotions can cause physical issues.  Just check here about anger and here to learn about sadness.

Bottom line when we are judging others we are likely harming ourselves.  Many times when someone comes into my office and there's anger then there's likely also judgement about others in their life.  That anger is doing nothing to change the other person's behavior, at all.  I know for a fact it's definitely not helping my client in anyway what so ever.  I'm always looking for my clients to be as healthy physically and emotionally as they can.
How about this?  A different perspective, a new understanding, and more gratitude and joy?  What and how you say?  By getting the those internal judgement programs rewritten and those problematic emotions cleaned up!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@taralpc.com Pin It

Haunting Childhood issues

I've recently been asked a few times by a few different people about given my training and specialty in trauma treatment if I can effectively work with adults who survived childhood abuse.  I'll be honest here I initially found that question odd.  Why do I find it odd?  Because childhood abuse IS trauma. Simple answer is Yes I do.  
If you or someone you know has been through something that continues to haunt them days, months, or even years later- Yes I work with that.
What do I mean by being haunted by your past?  Memories coming up and creating painful emotions, continued reactions to things that you would like to handle differently, habits that have started since that event (nail biting, picking at your skin, etc) some traumatic events create phobias.  Like for example car accidents may create a phobia with driving.  A bad experience flying can create a phobia of flying.  (Please note not all phobias are a direct result of something traumatic)
Does this help better explain feeling haunted by your past?
Imagine being free of those haunting, problematic emotions, thoughts and behaviors?  How freeing would that be?  It is possible...

(Photo found from: uncountablereflections.wordpress.com)

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@taralpc.com
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Live your life

Being the social media addict that I am I come across lots of articles and such.  Stumbled upon one recently about living courageously.  It's titled 5 ways to live life courageously by Frank Niles, Ph.D.

I'm going to just be open and honest here in this post.  Because of the sessions of RRT I have had for myself I live life pretty courageously compared to where I was prior to my personal sessions of RRT.  I have SOOO much less anxiety and fear about things.  Less stuff angers me.  Shoot I belong to a networking organization that I would have NEVER thought of doing before.
So if there are some emotional or behavioral things getting in the way of you living your life with more courage why not give me a call and take the first step towards a worth while investment in yourself!
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
 tara@mylifecoachtara.com

Perfectionism

I can't count the amount of times a client has sat in front of me talking about how they have "control" issues and described themselves as perfectionists.  It happens so often just typing this makes me take a big sigh.
First off please show me 10 people who don't in some way have "control" issues.  Yes I know some people are so controlling it's turned into abuse.  We all have certain things we like certain ways...whether it's household organization, food, our cars, our desk at work.
When it comes to perfectionism though that sticks out to me as a clinical therapist.  I have yet to meet some self proclaimed perfectionist who didn't have some difficulty with anxiety, frustration, and self criticisim.  These reactions to our environment create problems that can be challenging.  In fact most who talk about their perfectionism also talk about how they have "failed."

 

Let's face it, we all make mistakes.  It's a fact that we all learn more from our mistakes than our successes.  If we never make mistakes how effective will we be at dealing with change and challenges that we encounter?  And isn't it the mistakes people make and overcome that help develop what ever that is that makes them interesting?  How much time do you want to spend with someone who's perfect and their life is perfect?  Me?  Not but maybe 2 minutes to realize their life is too perfect for my tolerance level.  I'm human, I make mistakes....everyday.  I've made big whooper mistakes, expensive mistakes, and mediocre mistakes, and small mistakes.  Whatever.  I wouldn't be where I am and who I am without them.  

If you're finding yourself in that cycle of perfectionism and self criticisim then give me a call.  Let's update your mind so that when you do make a mistake you can move forward with new knowledge and confidence!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Types of traumas and PTSD

I openly market myself as a psychotherapist who specializes in treating and clearing trauma.  Interestingly enough people (or maybe only interesting to me who knows?!)  speak of how they haven't survived any type of trauma.  Or at least the situations they experienced weren't so crazy and intense that they feel they should seek out an expert in trauma.  Like for some reason what they faced is less challenging than someone who's faced some other type of trauma.  The United States Department of Veterans Affairs lists types of trauma as War, Terrorism, Violence & Abuse, and Disasters. 
Now I define trauma as anything unusual, different, unexpected, sudden, or weird.  Thus many things can be trauma- war, survivors of violence, having your home broken into, or even being bullied at school.  And that leaves out a lot of other "traumas" too.

(If possible please note at the bottom of the picture where this chart was taken from!!  This is not of my own making!!!)
Looking at trauma from that point probably most of us have had at least one traumatic event in our lives.  Maybe that event still lingers and possibly haunts us.  If it does now is the best time to take some time to devote to your health and well being....give me a call to start towards your healthier more joyful life!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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You can't know

I've been playing with the idea that you can't know what you don't already know and can't do something that you didn't think to do a lot in sessions lately.  And your like what are you talking about?
Well many of my clients come into sessions with me with this "I should of..." idea rolling around in their head.  Most of the time what "they should of" done didn't occur to them to do at that particular moment in time.  And most of those times what is now occurring to them to have done back then is something they learned later. 
However this came to play in real life in my life one night.  A friend was upset about a particular situation, that was happening right at that moment.  She has knowledge of the situation I do not.  She has experience and education in an area I do not.  (Trust me I'm NOT going back to school to learn what she knows and change careers.  She is an amazing expert in her field and it's her field to know not mine)  However I kind of got caught in the cross fire and got a lecture about the situation.  And amazingly enough it upset me a tad but not very much.  I instantly realized I can't know what I don't already know.  I'm not an expert in what she is an expert in, the situation involved some odd responses from someone that were new and well odd to me.  I don't have experiences in responding to those kinds of responses so how am I to know the perfect way to react?  I can't know that.  Can I learn from my friend and her expertise, yes.  Is getting mad at me for not knowing what I don't know going to magically make me an expert in that area...no.  Does it make me more of an expert on that topic to be mad at myself for not knowing what I don't know...no. 
Bottom line you can't know what you don't know, you can't do something you didn't think to do, nor can you do something you don't know how to do.  Like can you repair an airplane engine?  Likely no.  If I get mad at you for not being able to do that can you then magically be an airplane engine mechanic, no.  And if you get mad at yourself will you then magically be an airplane engine mechanic...no.  So you just can't know...everything.  Neither can I.

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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PTSD happens to many people

Since my last post on PTSD I've heard comments, and had phone calls about how someone can't have PTSD because they are not a Veteran.  PTSD can happen to anyone.  Yes it was originally recognized in soldiers returning from battle.  But some people live through different types of battles: childhood abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, and many other traumatic events that can occur in one's life time.  Even violent crimes such as being mugged at gun point.
I have a soft spot for our soldiers because they have sacrificed a lot to help our country.  I also have the time, and enthusiasm to help anyone who has survived any type of trauma. 

For common reactions to trauma please click here.  And of course, like you haven't read this before...those common reactions to trauma can be and are effectively, quickly, and painlessly cleared through Rapid Resolution Therapy®.  Most clients only see me 1-3x.  Some call for your appointment towards wellness now!


Be well, Be happy-

Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Time for change?

I used to run group therapy sessions for years.  As a group therapy facilitator I was no different than I am as an individual therapist, straight forward and to the point.  Many times people would come in and talk about the same problem over & over & over (this was before my certification training in Rapid Resolution Therapy®)  Of course myself and the other group therapy members would give feedback and suggestions about how to change, make improvements, or move on.  One day pretty much everyone in the group room got sick and tired of one particular client complaining about the same thing AGAIN.  And one of the client's said either change something or get happy with it.  And that then became the motto for my group, change something or get happy with it.  Ain't nobody got time for continued complaining about the same thing.
Fortunately through RRT I now have the knowledge, understanding, experience, and ability to help clients make those changes; whether it's sadness, guilt, grief, anger, or anxiety it can be changed.  The challenge is it has to be OK to be OK. 
Odd statement you say?   Well the truth be told sometimes people really don't want to be OK.  No seriously that happens all the time.  Especially when someone is angry or filled with grief, even sometimes guilt.  The assumption is if a client walks into my office they MUST want to be OK.  The reality is not always.  Sometimes people really think they should feel some painful emotion.  That's fine, but in my office if you don't want change then get happy with it.  I'm not that therapist who will sit with you week after week listening to someone complain about the same thing.  I'm not the hold your hand and console you while you cry therapist.  I'm a solution driven, problem solving, bulldozer of a therapist.  I'm looking to get to the heart of the issue, get my goal for where we are going and get you there...usually in 1 to 3 sessions which are all scheduled for 3 hours each.
So if your not happy it's time for a change, if your ready and excited about change give me a call!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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PTSD Awareness Month

Did you know that June is PTSD Awareness Month?  That's something I have recently learned as well.  So I have decided that I will provide some posts about PTSD, what it is, who can have it, etc.  Educational and informative posts about PTSD. 
Some people still don't even know WHAT PTSD is.

(I did not make this little graph.  I found it on the world wide web!!)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is something typically thought of as being something that happens as a result of serving one's country during times of war and conflict.  That's where the PTSD originated.  Anyone who has survived any type of trauma has the possibility of having PTSD.
What are the symptoms of PTSD?  Nightmares, flashbacks, avoiding situations that may trigger such symptoms, hyperarousal, and negative changes in emotions, behaviors, and thoughts.  This can happen to our military, it can happen to survivors of sexual violence, domestic violence, and even someone mugged.
There is help for PTSD.  Rapid Resolution Therapy® is a quick and effective way to treat PTSD.  I will go into treatment for PTSD further in future posts this month!!  
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Surfung the brain

Did you know there are 5 types of brain waves?  Well there are, from alert and thinking to what can be measured during deep meditation. 

(Image found at altering-perspectives.com)
Meditation has been noted over and over to help reduce anxiety, anger, sadness, etc.  Through processes utilized in Rapid Resolution Therapy® you can quickly learn how to utilize this process to naturally and effectively clear your emotional mind of problematic emotions.  Just give us a call and schedule your appointment for emotional wellness!
Be well, Be happy- 
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Boston Marathon 2013

It was terrible what happened at the end of the 2013 Boston Marathon.  Even though I do not watch the news or read a newspaper the info about this tragedy still made it to my home.
I'm excited to note that Give An Hour, an organization set up to provide counseling for active, off duty, and retired Military and their family, is now offer their services for those involved in the Boston Marathon.
I also know there were runners and such at the Boston Marathon who are from the St. Louis area.  I am proud and excited to be a Give An Hour provider.  So if you were in any way involved and effected by the tragedy in Boston please contact GAH and let them know you want to seek RRT counseling with me.  I always have appointments available to those seeking emotional wellness!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com Pin It

Healing- getting the word out

It is one of my goals to get the area in which I live and work to know and understand that survivors of any form of sexual violence do not have to suffer for the rest of their lives.  In doing so I also hope that more survivors contact me to get the ghosts that haunt them from the situations they have survived cleared by coming in and seeing me.  One of the things I have done is join the Women's Power Networking of Missouri and am now a volunteer at the Jane Doe Advocacy Center.

Last week the 4 local chapters of the WPN got together to have a member showcase, hang out, educate, laugh, and network.  I was asked to give a 10 minute speech about myself and RRT.  Given that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month I spoke on my very favorite professional topic- healing survivors.  I had planned to have someone video my talk and post it here.  Well obviously I forgot to get that done.  But here are 2 pictures of me taken by a fellow WPN member Rachel from Cat in the Basket 

It's still early into April and I still have plenty of space for any survivors looking to be healed and transformed from their past experiences!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com Pin It

SAAM Statistics

Sexual Assault in the U.S
1 in 5 women and 1in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives.  1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years old.  In about 8 out of 10 cases of rape the survivor knew the perpetrator.  There's a lot more numbers around this issue out there.

Cost/Impact of Sexual Assault
Each rape costs approximately $151,423
Annually, rape costs the U.S more than any other crime ($127 billion), followed by assault ($93 billion),  murder ($71 billion), and drunk driving, including fatalities ($61 billion)
81% of women and 35% of men report significant short- or long-term impacts such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Health care is 16% higher for women who were sexually abused as children and 36% higher for women who were physically and sexually abused as children

Pretty astounding huh?  Here's the thing...there is help, there is effective treatment for the after effects of being raped, sexually assaulted, and molested.  It's quick, effective, and painless.  What is it you ask?  Rapid Resolution Therapy®.  Which, if you don't already know, is the ONLY type of therapy I do and I actually specialize in treating survivors of sexual violence.  Women, men, and adolescents.  There's no reason to continue to suffer!!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
 tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Unhappiness

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. ~Eckhart Tolle~

That's a different way to view things that have been running around in your mind.  It's not the situation(s) but your mind's response to it.  Our mind creates painful emotions in response to situations.  Those emotions also have thoughts about the situation, or yourself, or other people involved in that situation(s).  And the thing is typically that situation(s) isn't even going on right now.  It happened days, months, years, sometimes decades ago. 
Those painful emotions are your mind's way of trying to get you to do something about that situation(s) that's not even happening now.  Those thoughts are usually a meaning our mind added to what happened.  Meanings are always distorted and 100x worse than what happened.  Through Accelerated sessions with Rapid Resolution Therapy® those painful emotions can be eliminated and those thoughts can be changed.
Most clients only see me 1-3x.  RRT is an amazing investment in yourself!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Questions answered part 1

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Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Is this for real?

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Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

(PS I'm still new to this video thing...be patient with me and my stumbling around!!) 

Published again

The article I recently submitted to be published in the Rapid Resolution Therapy® newsletter was accepted and published...check it out here.
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Meditation

I recently came across a few articles on the benefits of meditation.  I know I typically blog about anxiety, anger, grief, guilt/shame, or trauma; today I wanted to share these articles.  Basically over and over it is being found on many levels how beneficial meditation can be.  In this article you will learn how meditation has helped Veterans with PTSD.  And in this article you will learn how meditation can aid in emotional processing.

Because I just can't resist the RRT side of things...I can totally teach you how to maximize your meditation practice to clear any anxiety, anger, grief, guilt/shame, or trauma!
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Breaking Free

“Sometimes, Ms. Lane,” he said, “one must break with one’s past to embrace one’s future.  It is never an easy thing to do.  It is one of the distinguishing characteristics between survivors and victims.  Letting go of what was, to survive what is.” From the book Bloodfever By Karen Marie Moning

This little bit of Bloodfever struck me, especially "one must break with one's past to embrace one's future." And the part "It is one of the distinguishing characteristics between survivors and victims."  Many times people come to see me and say they've seen therapist after therapist and they know they must let go but can't seem to be able to.
Well guess what?  That's exactly what I do.  I help your emotional mind move on, let go, update, and work in a way that is much more advantageous to you.  What happens after that?  You will start seeing life with satisfaction and gratitude.  The ghosts that had been haunting you will no longer be able to haunt you. 
I think that's what makes someone feel like a victim, when their past haunts them and poisons their present, thus having a possible effect on their future.  When they find a way to break from their past then the past is neutralized, energy is freed, and you can be present with your present and see the future in a new light.
If you've been haunted by something that you have survived there's no time like the present to launch yourself into pure freedom!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Revenge anger frustration

Revenge is a dish best served cold...or should I say if your angry Cool it?!  I read, a lot.  I happen to have been reading BloodFever by Karen Moning when I came across this cliche' that I'm certain I've heard before but this time it finally made sense to me. 
Anger is a feeling many of us have experienced in one form or another.  Some people though seem to live in a state of anger most of the time.  It's not beneficial for them or anyone else.  Seriously.  Anger can lead to health problems, which I've noted in a previous post.  Anger greatly skews one's perspective on life and others.  And honestly it hurts you more than the person your angry with.  It's even possible that the person your angry with doesn't even have a clue about how angry you are.  Plus who want to be around someone who's just a notch away from an angry outburst?  No one.
Anger doesn't have to rule you or anyone else's life.  It can be taken care of and cleared out.  Life can be easier.  You can feel better physically and emotionally.  Rapid Resolution Therapy can alleviate your or someone else's anger. 

(you can order this t-shirt here)
Plus a life well lived is the best revenge!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It