Mommas and Pappas

First off let me clarify I LOVE that families come in all shapes, sizes, kinds, varieties with different sets of parents, kids, and extended families.  So this is for ALL parents of all types!!
A friend recently posted a link on Facebook to a Huffington Post article titled "Quit pointing your avocado at me."  Which quickly got my attention mostly because I love avocados.  (Yes I'm a very food orientated human.)  So of course I clicked on the link and read away while my child was taking her swim lesson for the week...swim away little fishy this Momma is gonna relax and read!
What I read was all about self criticisim and concern that others were judging one's parenting.  Which all leads to feeling guilty and "bad" about parenting.  Well let's put an immediate STOP to that.  Seriously! 
The more we judge our selves the more painful emotions our mind creates and the more likely we are to make more mistakes.  More more more.  I know right!? 
How about parenting with joy, laughter, comfort and ease?  It is possible.  I am here to attest to this fact.  I stumbled upon Rapid Resolution Therapy® when my daughter was very small.  As well as an amazing parenting book "Screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel."  RRT rid me of painful emotions that had been haunting me for decades and Screamfree showed me how my own "stuff" can cause me to parent in a way that I wasn't really looking to parent.  (Actually I read ScreamFree first then found RRT...but what ever)
I don't always make the perfect parenting decisions all the time.  However when I make a mistake I clear up my mistake quickly.  And do so with out all that lingering emotional junk that sometimes haunts people for years.  Moms, usually Moms more than Dads, think it's not possible to parent with out "Mom guilt."  It is.  And it's extremely freeing.  In doing so it gives a lot of space for connection with your children and others.  My child is not a saint.  She can have a fit with the best of them.  She observes me taking care of myself when my mind does get overly emotionally and she in turn is learning to take time to calm her emotional mind.  Thus we can just be together usually in an easy state of mind. 
She's only 5 at the time of my writing this.  I know that as she grows we will find more challenges to face together.  And we will have to adapt and change through out those challenges, doing so with a mind that is less emotional and more rational is likely to aid us in continuing to stay connected and loving. 
So give us a call!  Begin with a quick investment in yourself and your family!!
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy®
573-754-0348
tara@mylifecoachtara.com
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Books

I'm regularly asked about where to find a book specifically on Rapid Resolution Therapy®.  This book is not yet available buuuuutt we have a few Certified Practitioners who have written books...so here they are with links to them...

Angel Walk: Nurses at War in Iraq and Afghanistan By- Dr. Sharon Richie-Melvan & Dr. Diane Vines

Transforming Traumatic Grief: Six steps to move from Grief to Peace after the sudden or violent death of a loved one By- Courtney Armstrong, LPC

Helping Hoarders: A Guide for Families, Counselors, and First Responders By- Mark H Chidley, LMHC

Mini-Missions: Simplify and add Joy to Your Life in Less than 30 Minutes By- Autumn P. Hahn


Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Be water

One of my very favorite books is the Tao Te Ching by Lao-Tzu. (there are many adaptions of this book, this link is to one of them, and just for reference purposes)  Part of what has stuck in my head from reading it and many stories around/about the Tao Te Ching is simply to go with the flow.  Like water, water seeks the path of least resistance.  It is an amazingly powerful force though that has created the Grand Canyons and destroyed island with terrible tsunamis. 

Most things in our life are outside of our control.  Water has no control over things, but is effected by it's environment and atmospheric conditions.  As it responds to the environment and atmospheric conditions it then begins to impact our world.  Many things can effect us and thus effect how our mind emotionally responds to our environment.  (please excuse my grammar if I have incorrectly used affect/effect I even looked it up but am still totally confused!)  Yet many of those emotions, especially the painful ones, can hinder us and sometimes make us feel as though we are stuck. 

Emotions are just emotions.  They are designed by our subconscious mind to motivate us to make something stop from happening in our world.  Like my post from last week most things aren't happening now...they have already occurred or have yet to occur.  Which then absolutely guarantees we can't do anything about it.  Unless you have a time machine, then maybe but let's discuss it before you zap off into another time frame of your life...from all the sci-fi I have watched doing so can cause major problems! 

Since painful emotions tend to be so problematic how about we aim to be more like water?  Go with the flow, and have a quiet, calming effect on our environment?  Sounds like a much better plan to me...I think Bruce Lee knew what he was talking about!

Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Senior Certified Practitioner in Rapid Resolution Therapy® Pin It

Bed time reading

I prefer to put myself to sleep at night with a good book. Unfortunately, lately, the books I want to read are already taken at the library. So I reviewed what we had at home and decided to re-read "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff. Now I have read this book at least 5 times. Every time I read it I find something new that strikes my fancy.
Last night was no different. What struck me was a phrase "happy serenity." It resonated with me on two levels.
The first relates to RRT. This is where I'm at more so than not. A happy serenity created by the fact that a big portion of my emotional junk has been cleaned out using RRT. I'm not that perky, overly happy cheer leader you may know in real life. Life is just so much simpler now that my emotions are guiding my life.
As for the second reason it winds back to RRT. That is, it reminded me of clients at my part time job working in an out-patient group therapy program with the chronically mentally ill. These clients are always guided by their emotions. One in particular is very much pushing back at the world. She is the complete opposite of happy serenity, more like angry resistance. RRT isn't real applicable to group therapy. I wish for her to find someone who can clear out her emotional stuff so that she can begin her journey in a place of happy serenity. (I can't do self referrals due to my contract with the company...)
So there's my thought(s) for today...
Be well, Be happy-Tara S. Dickherber, M.Ed, CPC

Books for fun

Since I don't have anything excited to post I thought I'd refer you to a couple of books that are just plain fun to have around. Both revolve around Native American Animal Folk Lore. The first is Medicine Cards, it's not only a book but a set of animal cards. And the second book, one I've heard about for years and years is, Animal Speak. These books go into the meanings of animals in our lives. I'm not saying base your whole entire life on this, it's just fun to use and play with.
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, M.Ed, CPC

Getting Unstuck

By Pema Chodron
I didn't forget. This is the book I have mentioned a few times that has given me so many A-Ha moments, inspiration, things to think about and new ways to consider them. Now I haven't seen this in actual book form. In fact this is a recording of a retreat she facilitated. I have practiced yoga for years. This "book" helped me realize and acknowledge the fact that everyone, even the "experts" struggle with finding peace within the present moment. I know I will listen to this book over and over. Plus the cover is really pretty! :)~

A New Earth

Eckhart Tolle has it going on. I do enjoy this book and revisit it on occasion. I have yet to watch the pod casts of him & Oprah. I will, eventually. I have found this book inspiring and challenging. A friend once called it "heady." I guess it is, however that's where I work...in the mind and emotions. As a counselor I have had some clients really enjoy this book upon my recommendation. I was also surprised to find past clients have read and reread this book often. They have come in to touch base with me and discuss the book and ask how to better impliment the suggestions from it into their lives. I have watched clients transform their reactions and relationships with the world around them. That's what I got into this counseling/coaching field for. To see change. So put your ego aside and read A New Earth.

Wicked

I had heard about the book and the musical. Then I noticed a niece of mine reading this book. She said she really liked it. She and I have some book enjoyment in common. Yet I didn't read it, until, yes my MP3 player. I enjoyed this book. It's a WHOLE NEW look at the Land of Oz. Now I will tell you some parts of this book were riskier than I expected and hard to listen to. Maybe my imagination is wilder than others. I am eager to see the musical now. In fact I want to watch the Wizard Of Oz again to watch it through my new opinion of the Land Of Oz.

Eat, Pray, Love

I am in love with this book and Elizabeth Gilbert's life. She dropped it all to find herself and helped people along the way. This was, of course, a book I listened too via my MP3 played and the version I bought was narrated by Elizabeth herself. She has a hypnotic voice and what she was going through just seeps through her narration. It is an inspiring book that makes me, at least, want to leave it all behind and go find what's really buried deep inside me. Alas I am a mom, wife, and business owner. That's not going to happen anytime soon. Thus I listen to her book and live vicariously through her. Oh I also see the book is being made into a movie. Very cool!

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Yes I do read something besides self-help, empowerment books. In fact I read a lot of fiction. Douglas Adams, may he rest in peace, I worship him. I read all five of the Hitchhiker's Guide books. The later two got almost too heady, connected, remember small details from the last three books, for me. But I still LOVE LOVE LOVE, did I mention I LOVE, the first two? I had this small obsession with anything British in high school. To the point I went to school in London for a short time. I have seen both Hitchhiker movies. The most recent one I enjoyed more, mainly because we are at a time with special effects that the book came more to life. OH-the book. So Arthur Dent goes on an amazing journey around the Universe. All entwined with great British humor. Go read, go laugh, take a towel...

Change your Thoughts Change your Life

This is yet another book I HIGHLY recommend. By Dr. Wayne Dyer. It's about the Tao and creating the life you want. As a counselor and Life Coach I am a true believer that thoughts have powerful energy. We carry this internal dialogue with us all day. It plays over and over. Now hopefully your internal hard drive has beautiful sayings about you and your daily activities. I know that a lot of people's hard drive does not. We tend to beat ourselves up a 1000 times a day. If a child can loose their self-confidence quickly just by one simple statement what are we doing to ourselves each and every day? So-homework? What is your internal dialogue telling you? How has that impacted your life and where you desire to be in that life?

The Four Agreements

I must admit an addiction I have, audible books on my MP3 player. I love reading, with a 10 month old though who has an obsession with paper actually reading a book is not possible. So I down load books onto my MP3 player, plug it into my speakers and play with my daughter and clean the house.
One of my favorite, inspiring books is "The Four Agreements" By Don Miguel Ruiz. He wrote a few other books that go with his first book. They are also very good as well. Though the agreements can be challenging to live by and they sound SO simple, they really can make huge changes in your thoughts, reactions to others, and general satisfaction with life. I would truly enjoy being able to go study with Mr. Ruiz, if the situation arouse. Alas this has not happened so I re-listen to this book often and refer many of my friends and clients to read it as well. For this week, go fourth and seek "The Four Agreements."