When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us. - Alexander Graham Bell
Today is the 10th anniversary of 9/11. There are lots and lots of posts and statuses out there about 9/11, today, yesterday, and this past week. The quote I posted reminded me of grief and how many people get "stuck" or "frozen" within grief. There's a belief that in order to honor our loved ones we must grieve. Sometimes people grieve for decades. Met anyone like that? Notice how time seems to have stopped for them, like a part of their mind is lost in another time? That's what I'm talking about when I say people can become stuck or frozen in grief. In fact a part of their mind really is locked up in that time, they may not even be able to see the good things that have happened since then. They may honestly be unable to focus on the good things in life that are currently going on. That person may not actually be able to think back to the good times they had with their loved one(s). So I say no thanks to grieving.
Grief doesn't have to run someone's life. The traumatic loss of a loved one(s) can be resolved and the person can move one, move forward, and be able to enjoy life again. They can have a sense of continued connection with their love one(s) and still feel joy and gratitude. There are so many other ways to honor our loved one(s). The loved one(s) that I honor I'm pretty sure are more excited about my being present in my life than sad and sorrowful about them. Grief counseling classes can help bring about this perspective.
Courtney Armstrong, LPC recently did a short TV interview (author of Transforming Traumatic Grief) about grief and 9/11...check it out!
On this anniversary of 9/11 stay present in your life and do something filled with joy and gratitude not only for the lives lost but also for the men and women who did everything they could to save as many people on that horrible day! We have soooo many heroes out there!!!
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Certified Rapid Resolution Therapy® therapist
Executive Director of the Institute for Survivors of Sexual Violence™
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