Negation

Anxiety is one of the most prevalent issues I see as a counselor, before I became RRT Certified and even now.  Most anxiety is related to fears about the future.  One thing I know about the subconscious mind (and remember the subconscious mind is like 99% of our mind) is that it doesn't understand negation.  So if I hear a client say "I don't want to be depressed any more," what 99% of that client's mind hears is "I want to be depressed."  I've also started noticing how a client, or even a friend may state what they do want but what I notice is likely that what they are really truly focused on is what they don't want.  Like recently I was having a conversation with an RRT friend (Holly) and she stated "I want more of that, more clients, more speaking engagements, etc."  What I quietly heard was that there was likely a facet of her mind really focused on what she didn't have, enough clients, enough speaking engagements, etc.  Being the bold person that I am (or so I have been told and described as by many people lately...) I just flat out asked if she was more focused on the lack there of versus creating more of.  And she verified my suspicion.  This all leads to the mind creating anxiety in the mind's effort to motivate you to do better in the future.  (Hey guess what...The future doesn't exist, only right now exists) 
What I realized in that conversation was how much my mind and I have been focused on the Lack there of...such as clients.  Yep as much as I love what I do and have been marketing myself my schedule is lacking appointments with clients.  That is what I have been focused on.  What I know is that to make things happen I need to truly focus on what I want (a lovely balance of family and professional life) and picture the end result clearly (as a sculptor sees the block of marble and the statue she will create with that block) and the rest will happen.  So many times we can see what we want our end result to be but then our mind gets caught up in the HOW of it.  Versus the would that be OK to be that way?  Any negation in there such as "I don't see HOW that's going to work out," will totally trip up getting to the end result. 
After my conversation with my friend, Holly, I realized how much anxiety I had been carrying in regards to my professional life.  What I do know is that in the next year or two things are really going to take off for me.  I know this because I have set out plans with a few people on the direction I want to take my practice and what role I want to play in it.  I'm really excited about the directions I'm going.  What's so new to me is that looking at that long view I feel calm and excited all at the same time.  However a facet of my mind has really been focused on the short view, like the next few months.  I've had a plan/goal in my head for the next few months yet I haven't been verbalizing it to anyone but myself and maybe Holly.  Last night I noted that my next step for the short view was to verbalize it...here it is...
I started out wanting to see enough clients to cover my rent and then some.  Well I've met and exceeded that goal.  Now I want to push it further.  My new goal is to work (ie seeing clients) 6-10 hours a week.  To also market to a new clinic or other facility at least 1x per month.  (I have to admit so far the places I have spoken too, except for one, have sent me clients- Thanks to them!!)
Believe it or not that just drained my short view anxiety...so thanks to you for reading!
Be well, Be happy- Tara S. Dickherber, M.Ed, CPC

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