The Reality is

That people will be who they are and no amount of thinking how they should be or could be will change them. This was the thought/realization I had after a recent visit with someone I know. This particular person was very focused on how someone SHOULD HAVE BEEN. And because they hadn't been things were kinda not going well. Then I realized, after posting this thought on Facebook how that applied to me as well.
My life has changed since getting married, and even more so since having a child. It has lead to a totally different viewpoint of life and what I find important, worthy of my time, and how I define a lovable life. Because of these changes, I'm seeing the relationships around me quite differently. Something I have become very aware of is how my life's path is going a different way than others whom I knew were on a similar paths as myself. And frankly, that's OK. I'm OK with that. The one thing I hope though, is that they are OK with it as well.
In coming to this whole realization I also noticed how much time and energy many of us spend on being frustrated with other people because they "should have or could have" been and acted differently. It leads us all to believe that this thing called the past really truly exists somewhere if only we had the key and knew where the door is. Here's the hard truth of this reality: The past does NOT exist! It's just some abstract concept humans made up and with watching enough Sci-Fi shows we start to think it really exists somewhere. It doesn't. People do what they do, once it's done that's pretty much it. Sure they can apologize and try to make amends. But there's really no way to actually go back in time and take something away, or change how we did it. Thus fuming about could of's, should of's, and would of's are gonna drive you and me nuts!
This is a problem I help people alleviate through RRT, a lot. And obviously I use it on myself too!
Be well, Be happy-Tara S. Dickherber, M.Ed, CPC

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