Now if I've had some other post about self-esteem and you've read it (I've had this blog for like 4 years now so I can possibly forget about what all I have blogged about and thus blog on it again...) Anyways...if I have posted about low self-esteem before and you read it just move on to your next cup pf coffee.
First off let me state I don't think high or low self-esteem actually exists. Why you may ask? Like seriously everyone talks about it, about improving it, counselors/social workers/therapists are always telling people the problem is their low self-esteem. And in fact prior to my RRT training I was known to say that as well. Here's why I don't agree with that any more...
For one 98-99% of our mind is subconscious mind, it functions at the level of a wolf. When a wolf is out hunting how much of his/her mind is focused on how good he/she looks, how well he/she is running, how effective he/she is at catching prey? ZERO percent. Nada, nothing, no way no how is any wolf focused on any of that stuff at any time. Wolf's mind has the camera lens turned outwards on it's environment, taking in information and using that information to better it's ability to survive and thrive. And at the end of the day how much time does the wolf spend reviewing how well he/she did with getting food and relating to the other wolves? None, nada, zero percent again. So if 98-99% of our mind functions like a wolf the whole concept of self-esteem is lost on 98-99% of our mind.
Second if our mind has it's camera lens turned inwards then it's constantly doing self analysis. Guess what?! I think self-analysis is NOT the solution to the problem but actually a big part of the actual problem. Our minds are complex things. Because they are complex they are very likely problematic. Complex things just are that way, take for example a computer or car...both complex both problematic and require regular tune ups. Therefore our complex problematic minds require some tune ups. Now add on we have all experienced traumatic events (big ones and little ones) Those traumatic events leave impressions on our subconscious minds where emotions reside. Emotions are made in response to trauma and those emotions effect our behaviors and thoughts. When the traumatic events are cleared out and the emotions are cleaned up change is automatic and natural. Self-esteem is no longer "necessary" because our whole mind is now functioning in a way that's advantageous to us thus it presents solutions that are possible, beneficial, and appealing to us so that we act upon them without a doubt...much like a wolf does.
So who needs self-esteem? Not I...
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Certified Rapid Resolution Therapy® therapist
Executive Director of the Institute for Survivors of Sexual Violence™
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