Questions at a cocktail party

Let me be the first to say I dislike that question: What do you do for a living? and yet I'm likely to be the first one to ask it. I dislike it and ask it for the same reason though. What we do says a lot about who we are. Seriously. I once heard/read that we all choose our career based on internal issues or needs. What we do does not define us, it's more like who we are defines what we will do for a living. (And again I think being a parent is a career and the most important career!) Yes I am admitting that being a counselor and life coach has something to do with my own internal stuff. I consider myself a kind, caring soul. I believe I can help others. I like teaching. I like being the one with knowledge. (Notice I say knowledge and not power-yep you will not see me running for President of the United States of America!) Having that knowledge gives me a role to play. Having a role to play helps me ease my social anxieties. See what I'm getting at about who we are defines what we do?
I also dislike that question because as soon as I answer it people respond, quickly to what I do. And I don't mean it's always in a good way. In fact being a licensed counselor can lead to many people becoming very paranoid and cautious around you for fear you're assessing their mental health and diagnosing them as crazy. When they hear I'm a life coach many times I hear they don't know what that is and what such a person does. When I then explain it they usually immediately want to know why someone would waste good money on such a thing. Yet they have a personal trainer who yells at them several times a week, and a business coach to tell them how to run their business better, and a spiritual guide to direct them to more enlightening situations...get my point. I like Tim Ferriss's answer to that question "I'm a drug dealer." People just shut up and leave you alone, I'm sure. Maybe I should try that one out more often! Tee hee! OK so I shall leave you alone with that rant for the week. Take it as food for thought the next time you go to a cocktail party, try not to ask that question and see if you can connect to others in different ways. Me? I'm a counselor and life coach, I like to get into people's heads...
Be well, Be happy-
Tara S. Dickherber, M.Ed, CPC

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