A letter to my heart

Dear heart:
You run faster than my head. You try to take leaps when I'm scared. You desire to love and trust so many when I'm constantly tugging at you to slow down, be rational, and be safe. I'm a mother now. I honestly know love in a way I couldn't imagine. I thought I loved my husband with all I have, until Ella screamed the second she came into this world. That first scream yanked you, my lovely heart, right out of my chest. Every time Ella cries I find you leaping out of my chest again. I must succumb to the fact I can not protect you on this journey we are taking; being a parent. She's going to fall down, literally and figuratively. She's going to have her heart broken by the loss of loved ones and boys. I can not protect you from this. I have tried and sometimes been successful at protecting you in the past. This is scarier than I ever thought. To love my daughter whole heartily. I believe deeply in my chosen parenting philosophy. It's such a difficult thing to allow Ella to make mistakes. To know as she gets older and older and has the possibilities to make bigger and bigger mistakes. Are you ready heart for all this? I know the benefits of parenting out weighs the pain! I'm eager to see where this journey takes us. I've always thought my heart was one of my best features!

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